In a Quagmire


I  just watched the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’. I know, I’m late. Now I’m not going to talk about the obvious because all the supposed ancient Chinese dating secrets they were revealing in the movie weren’t that esoteric. I already knew that stuff. Maybe some losers out there can’t tell when someone is uninterested in them, but I’m not delusional. Anywho, what made my whiskers rise was the story around the characters Ben (Bradley Cooper) and Janine (Jennifer Connely). They’re newly married and building their dream home. Ben meets a very attractive lady at a convenience store and she is HITTING on him, and he’s HITTING back. After they bond and fall in love, he tells her he’s married and can’t get involved with her. She on the other hand doesn’t give a damn! She wants his naked body! She goes on to give him her number anyway and calls him a few days later (what a slore!) and he turns her down again.

Long story short, he puts up sort of a fight but eventually gives in. They start having an affair. *Sidebar* I got the impression that he wasn’t completely in love with his wife. They got married because they were together for a long time and she kinda pressured him to marry her. That’s when I started thinking “what happens when you get married and then find your soulmate?”

I heard someone say “your soul mate is whoever you make it”. The notion that there is one person out there that was made for you is a myth. What if he’s wrong and one day he meets his real soul mate.

I’m a strong supporter of monogamy. I believe infidelity is wrong wrong wrong, simple and plain. But what are you supposed to do when you meet the right person for you after you’re already married. Let’s be real, most married couples aren’t together because they fell deeply in love. Some are like “look, I’m here and you’re here, my afternoon is free. Wanna get married or something?”  Then, you meet ‘the one’. You can’t walk away from your chance at enchanted love only to remain in a marriage of convenience. Would it be completely unreasonable to leave your spouse for the person you truly love? What if you two get married and grow old together in wedded bliss? Does that make you two bad people?

What I’m trying to say is I saw the story from his (Ben) perspective, and it was obvious that there was something special between him and the mistress. Suppose you met your soulmate today and you found out he/she is married. Then your soul mate immediately divorces their spouse to be with you. What would you do? I’m not talking about a little crush here. I mean that feeling you’ve never had before and you KNOW this is the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

As the mysteries of live unravel, you start realizing that sometimes it’s not black and white. There are some grey areas and some situations don’t have a clear answer. I guess what I’m saying is….well…. I don’t know what I’m saying. Hhhmmmmm. This is a quagmire.

COFFEEbean

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